National listening Day: How Listening Can Help Support Someone With Mental Ill Health

A leading wellbeing expert has shared her advice on how to be a better listener.

Lynn Crilly’s tips come ahead of National Listening Day, marked on November 29, which encourages people to lend their ears to friends, families and even strangers who might be struggling.

And Lynn, the author of Hope with Depression: a self-help guide for those affected and their families, friends and carers, says there is clear evidence listening to others can be a vital tool in breaking down barriers around mental ill health.

Wellbeing expert Lynn said: “It can be hard to know what to say to someone who is suffering with mental ill health. You do not want to ignore the illness, but sometimes you just do not know if you are saying the right or wrong thing.

“Mental Illness is not always visible and therefore people can be afraid of what they cannot see, and often find it

easier to say nothing, and hope their worries for the person will go away, which sadly in many cases do not.

“For many suffering from mental ill health, they just want someone to listen to them, feel that their thoughts and feelings are valid all without judgment.

“What to say when a family member or friend is suffering, communications can, at times, require extra effort and patience.

“Effective communication serves as precautionary care, reassuring family members and caregivers that they care about each other and appreciate each other’s efforts.

“Good everyday communication can also make it easier to bring up issues, make requests when needed and resolve conflict when it arises. Open, non-judgmental communication should however always form the basis of the approach.

“It is not always easy to know what to say and how to say it, when talking to someone who is struggling with a mental health issue. Every person has their own preferences.

“On National listening Day and everyday it is important we are aware of the positive impact that just listening to someone else’s thoughts can have.”

Here, Lynn shares some ideas on a few ideas that you may find helpful:

1. You might ask questions such as: “Can you tell me what is happening?” or do you feel you would rather talk to someone else?”
2. Give them space and time to express themselves, asking: “Would you like my advice or would you rather I just listened?”
3. Encourage your loved one by saying something like: “There is nothing you can say that will stop me loving you”
4. Praise them for every small step forward by saying: “This must be hard for you, but you are going to get through it “or “I am so proud of you.”
5. Help by taking away their fear by telling them “You are not alone, and I would like to help you in any way I can.”
6. It can be useful having certain code words between you. These can be words that the other person can use to demonstrate when they want to talk or when they are struggling, or they may use their words to talk about their anxiety and how they are feeling without naming the illness.