Parents who care about their children pay much time to guarantee their happy childhood and prepare them for a successful future. But when the marriage failure happens, it doesn’t mean that parents still have to stay together to protect their kids.
Sometimes divorce is a healthier and the only way out. Mind that divorce does have a great impact on children’s lives. Parents need to realize the risks and prepare thoroughly to eliminate them and help their children through the challenges.
Look at common issues and possible solutions highlighted for parents and children of divorce.
Impact of Divorce on Children
Get ready that your divorce won’t go unnoticed, especially by your children. Besides, kids of different ages will react differently, meaning that you need to be prepared for various scenarios depending on the age and personality of your children. Review the impact divorce will have on children:
- Emotional burden – emotional stress and pressure will overwhelm kids of all ages. Little ones will be confused and may be afraid of being thrown from one parent to another or abandoned by one of the parents. Primary schoolers are expected to take the blame on themselves, seeing divorce as a result of their misbehaviour or lack of academic success. Meanwhile, teenagers will turn into a tornado of emotions, blaming one of the parents or everyone for divorce.
- Relationship changes – divorce will bring changes to family relationships as well. Children are expected to lose or have a weaker bond with the parent who moves out. Meanwhile, a custodial parent can often become less affectionate, supportive, and discipline-handling, carrying the burden of single parenting.
- Financial troubles – many divorced couples experience financial troubles which affect the life quality and consistency of children.
- Relief – on the contrary, many children will feel relief for their parents getting divorced. This often happens when the marriage was troublesome, including frequent arguments, domestic violence, etc.
Anyway, divorce will seriously influence both parents and children. As a result, divorce-connected risks may arise, causing the deterioration of living conditions and personal development of kids of divorce.
Divorce-related Risks
Being busy with legal divorce documents, serious life changes, custody, financial hardships, couples in divorce often skip the risks their kids undergo. As a result, kids often have their present and future seriously harmed or ruined. Watch out for the following divorce-related risks:
- Mental health problems – due to constant stress and pressure, kids of divorce have a stronger inclination for mental health disorders. They often suffer from depression and high anxiety levels.
- Behavioral disorders – with frequent emotional ups and downs, children who experienced parental divorce have behavioral disorders. They fight and argue with their peers, disoblige at school, and tend to be more impulsive than kids from full families.
- Academic decadence – divorce harms children’s academic performance. They find it difficult to concentrate, fall behind their peers, and lose interest in studies in general.
- Risk-taking tendencies – children of divorce are reported to have higher inclinations for risk-taking tendencies. They often experience early sexual relationships, drugs and alcohol intake, violence, and more.
Kids of divorce are more vulnerable and undergo more life-damaging risks comparing to children from two-parent families, so divorced parents have to take twice more effort to supply their children’s well-being.
Possible Ways Out
To help their children relive one of the toughest times in their lives, divorced parents need to apply their powers and enthusiasm to change their kids’ lives for the better. Here are some helpful strategies that may help you and your kids out:
- Conflict-free zone – deprive your children of the possibility to witness your and your ex’s conflicts, fights, and arguments. Declare your home a conflict-free zone and supply your kids with the environment for happy and steady development.
- Co-parenting plan – create a working co-parenting plan to provide your kids with enough attention from both parents and prevent them from being in the middle of your arguments and property sharing.
- Healthy relationships – nurture healthy relationships with your kids, including support, care, love, trust, and responsibility. Never talk bad about another parent, blame your ex, or ask your kid to pass a message. Your relationships should be concentrated around the family concept but not your divorce.
- Consistent discipline – create rules and limits, as well as rights and awards, and stick them together with your ex. Don’t play a good officer/bad officer game, trying to manipulate your kids, or they will start manipulating you and ruin the discipline eventually.
- Careful monitoring – don’t intrude in the personal life of your children but stay close to monitor their leisure activities. Being more vulnerable in your divorce time and afterward, they can easily get under negative and hazardous impact.
- Positive reinforcement – find things to praise your kids for. Encourage them to become better, develop, overcome difficulties together. But remember to be fair and stick to your own words and promises.
- Professional help – don’t be ashamed and afraid to ask for professional help for parents and kids. Family counselor, psychologist, therapist all will assist you in detecting any troubles as early as possible and coping with them, preventing complications.
Ignoring or postponing problems with your kids in and after divorce will not give any positive results. On the contrary, your children will get more distant and suffer from physical and mental health complications due to your negligence. Your task is to find time and energy for your kids and their issues, no matter how overwhelmed and troubled you are.
Final Words
Divorce time is a challenge both for kids and parents. But if such a decision will change your family life for the better, you have to take it supporting your children as much as possible alongside. Children of divorce often suffer from emotional burdens, drastic life changes, and financial hurdles, resulting in behavioral disorders, mental health issues, problems at school, and more. So, here you need to cooperate with your ex and grant your kids attention and support to guarantee them a better present and future despite the divorce.